Unless I make a grand effort to attract traffic to this and my other blogs, a few visits a day is normal for me. Are people uninterested in what I have to say? Have I become irrelevant and worthless? Nugatory?
I write because I need to express myself, regardless of how many people read what I've written. And yet, I've realized that I check my site meter at this and my other blogs to see if I still mean anything to anyone. And when I discover that my popularity is sinking, that fewer and fewer people are reading my blogs, that's yet another reason for depression.
I'm failing, in a way, because of my success. This interlinked incubator for voices that I have helped create has created so many voices and given them such prominence that mine has become just one of a cacophony. The band has become so large, that my flute is barely heard, and rarely do I set the rhythm with the drums. It's democracy that makes me only as important as my colleagues perceive me to be on any given day.
So, I've stopped making my blog meters an obligatory stop on my daily surfing. If someone reads, fine. If not, I have expressed myself to myself, researched and ordered information in a way that is meaningful to me and, like masturbation, it need not give anyone else an orgasm to have achieved its purpose.
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2 comments:
I have begun to read your blog, it's interesting, the thoughts that go through your head.
I had to distance myself for two reasons: first, if I am around depressed people too much I become depressed too. Second, I don't know whether you did it intentionally, and if so, why, but I felt as if you were ignoring my comments, which made me feel unwelcome. I did, however, pop in to quietly check on you occasionally.
If I may make some observations...
- In my opinion, the promoter behind the act accomplishes something impressive and worthwhile, albeit with less glory. If you have caused things to happen for the greater good, that's what counts, is it not?
- Is it possible that you get less blog traffic than before because few people have your amazing attention span? You're still in intense contemplation while others have wandered off.
- Is it possible you don't want to approach a publisher or self-publish a book because of your (possibly temporary) waning hit counts here? If so, consider that it would be a new, somewhat different type of audience. Also, as they say, sales is a numbers game.
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