Why Hasn't the Clonazepam Put me to Sleep?

Well, it's 3.43 AM and I'm still not asleep, in spite of having taken 2 mg of clonazepam at 10:00 P.M., before I went to my friends house, with my dog, for dinner. I imagined that taking the pill before I went out would give me a chance to come home good and tired and sleep, but I was apparently wrong.

They say that clonazepam can cause "depressed mood, thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself", but I had these before I took clonazepam, and these symptoms don't seem to have gotten any worse, although they sometimes get as bad as they were pre-clonazepam. Drugs.Com

Sometimes, out of frustration with life and a vague desire to hurt myself, I take three or four Clonazepam tablets at a time. But, I've read that some people have taken sixty at a time and lived to tell about it. The risk is of addiction and increased tolerance - risks I can't do much about, and risks that are perhaps not as dangerous as going night after night without adequate sleep.

Less serious clonazepam side effects may include:

• drowsiness, dizziness, spinning sensation;

• memory problems;

• tired feeling, muscle weakness, lack of balance or coordination, [etc.] Drugs.Com
  

I've felt all of these symptoms. Often, we have to climb high hills in this neighborhood, and my friends don't understand why I climb with such torpor. I've read the side effects of these medications to my closest friends, with some success.

It says here that Clonazepam should only be taken for a short time, like nine weeks. "Clonazepam should be used for only a short time. Do not take this medication for longer than 9 weeks without your doctor's advice. " I've been taking it for a year. I'll have to ask my psychiatrist if that's something we should be concerned about. I'm not terribly afraid of becoming addicted to drugs anymore. I figure that the risk of killing myself (or somebody else) without them is a more immediate concern. But, I'll ask my psychiatrist anyway.

Rivotril and "Klonopin" are just other names for Clonazepam, and everyone knows that Klonopin is for kooks beyond redemption. I guess this means I am either a kook beyond redemption, or I've had a prejudice against Klonopin that was unwarranted. Neither would surprise me.

Well, to help me sleep, I tool another six milligrams of clonazepam. It's a desperate act that falls somewhere between medication and a futilely inadequate suicide attempt. I've taken ten before and not fallen asleep, so I know that three won't kill me. All I need to do is get into bed with something to read and I will fall asleep. So, why am I being so resistant, so stubbornly resistant, like a child who fights sleep until it overtakes him like an irresistable tidlewave.

I used to feel anxiety at not sleeping because of my many responsibilities of the following day. Now, I've reordered my life so that the biggest consequence of not sleeping now will be sleeping later, when everyone else is awake, going about their business. Perhaps I should take twelve more clonazepam tablets? Perhaps I should read myself to sleep?